Day 6 - Sometimes a Cigar is just a Cigar

Today, I am late in coming to the blog. In fact, I only have 17 minutes before today turns into tomorrow. It is a fascination to me how I can find reasons why other tasks are higher priorities than my writing. This is of particular interest because writing, I have come to appreciate, is one of most precious activities I enjoy. So why does it come last in the long list of ‘to-dos’?

When I think about it, I am ‘that kind of person’… I leave my mash potato to the end, and eat everything else, because mash is a favourite. If a parcel arrives that I’ve been awaiting, I’ll get all the little jobs out the way so that I’m clear to open it. I wonder now, how it is that I leave that which elevates me to the last? Is there some psychological reason for that… If there is I can’t think of it… perhaps you’ll have a clearer idea.

Anyhow, here we are, with the perils of unedited writing… wishing now that I could delete the above and start again. Of course, I could, but that’s not the purpose of this task; the purpose is just to write.

Okay, so what I really wanted to write about was signs; not the lamppost or street kind of signs, but those wee indicators that some of us (I don’t think I’m the only one) use as divine proof that what we’ve said, where we’re going, the thought we just had, was a goodie. Those kind of Heavenly signs – you know, the ones we follow; the ones we thank; the ones we might think as omens; the ones we let lead and dictate at times.

I recall when I first began my hypnotherapy training, and the fabulous Jennifer Rose spoke about our favoured eccentricities often being hangovers from learnt behaviours, protective, sometimes aspects of complexes and unconscious processes from childhood. Silently, I was thinking ‘yeah, right – no-one’s reducing my eccentricities to psycho-issues baby’.  

Well, I’m the first one to see a white feather and announce ‘Oh, Spirit is here’. I just adore those synchronistic happenings that really do speak to the divine connectedness of my soul with the Source of all being. You’ve likely had similar experiences, and know what I mean.

Well, all this work I’ve been doing in relation to knowing myself and outing and releasing fear, has brought Jen’s words back to light.


So it is, that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. This (mis)quote, attributed to Sigmund Freud speaks to the psychoanalytic idea of cigar smoking being attributed to male genitalia and the castration process of being deprived of breast feeding as a babe. Yes, significantly paraphrased theory, and no, not one I subscribe to. Nevertheless, Freud allegedly said that despite this notion, ‘sometimes a cigar is just a cigar’.

What I came to appreciate today is just that… sometimes a feather is just a feather. Sometimes, words spoken from a parent, partner or friend are just those, and they have no other meaning. Sometimes, the third red VW car is just the third car; the

Only the meaning that we attribute to the event, words, happening, touches something deep in us that is often wounded. From there feelings and thoughts rise up, and the so-called sign becomes that which adds energy to those hurts, even magnifying them.

And yes, there are synchronicities whereby the fabric of the universe is weaving itself in alignment with your soul energy, and the cigar, the feather, the sign is more than…

How do we know the difference?

I think it’s about how they make us feel… And whether they speak to an inner truth.

Often the signs we rely on or turn to as reasons are actually excuses. They prop up thoughts, behaviours, perceptions that have at their root, fear.

This is just my reflections, see. If we sat down and had a longer discussion, it may be that your opinions would contribute to me thinking differently. But right now, I ‘m leaning towards thinking that a sign of the soul, of the Source, will come with a feeling of Love. It will aid me, aid you in expanding who we are. It will call us to be the best we can be. It will comfort but not control. It will tingle in a way that excites and moves us positively, for the betterment of our life.

The non-sign will not do this so much. It will support ideas that aren’t necessarily helpful; that lead us to believe things about other people that may not be true; that keep us in bubble-wrap or bubble-protection, disconnected from others; that separate us from the knowing, loving wisdom of our Self and Soul, and spirit within.

So, what I’m leaving you with is what I’m starting to practice… if you follow the signs… check in with yourself – how does that make me feel? What does that sign serve?

And if there is any flicker of discomfort, confusion, doubt, mistrust, anxiety or fear – give that sign the flick!

And then turn inward and ask you ever-loving spirit to come forward with some self-kindness and Source inspired guidance.

Love. Love. Love.