Over the past few days, I have heard a number of folk share issues related to their relationships. Each story has had its varying qualities and characteristics and intricacies of relationship issues or considerations. While these have differed, a common theme has been one of communication – limited communication, miscommunication, absent communication, fear of communication, cross-communication, conflict in communication…
When we enter a healing of self-development process, when we start to embrace our authenticity, living truer and moving towards our vision, values and dreams, often times a whole lot of our energy, attention, focus and emotion is aimed in that direction.
Partners, family, friends and loved ones can feel that shift, and their reactions and responses will depend on many factors, including their understanding of our intentions, changing feelings, thoughts, plans and vision.
This is a reason why communication is so important.
It’s not just communication with Spirit or our spirit with Source, or communication with colleagues, prospective clients, public or social media followers. How we communicate with those closest to us will impact on all aspects of our healing-self development process.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have thought I’ve communicated something to my partner only to realise we are completely on a different page or to learn a tad too late that I hadn’t communicated at all.
It’s those times when I know I’ve been in meditation, Spirit World, my own excited creativity too long without air or worldly contact or relationship sharing.
Communication is a powerful allay in our life vision and our personal growth.
Communication helps us to express our self so as to be understood and to connect. Good communication helps others understand us, to offer their view, meet us in our experiences; it makes room for shared experience, even divergence and ultimately individual and relationship growth.
Sometimes, we simply forget to communicate or we haven’t learnt or embraced it as a habit. Sometimes, fear keeps us quiet or avoidance of conflict.
One of my favourite couples therapists, Hedy Scheifler, invites us to consider conflict in communication as a friend and an opportunity for growth and connection. After 50 years in the relationships field, Hedy believes that ‘the higher mission of a relationship is to reclaim our wholeness’, and that we ‘choose a partner perfectly suited for this task, even if we appear incompatible’.
In this view, it is the space between us that offers us room to grow. It is our differences and our coming together in communication and relationship that enables connection, and individual expansion.
Healthy communication asks us to be brave sometimes; invites us to be open in safe vulnerability; trusting our self and the other; implores us to listen well, to consider, support, respond rather than react; to talk honestly; to dig deeper and to be prepared to be patient, because sometimes our differing ways of communicating might mean going away, thinking, feeling and coming back again.
So tonight's blog is a call to remember that we are relational beings. We come to individuation, authenticity, knowing our Soul-Self through our relationships. Whether we communicate with Source, the Spirit World and other discarnate energies, our own spirit’s experience of our world must be communicated closer to home and shared with the people we value in our life.
For our spiritual unfoldment is only as amazing and relevant as our ability to be in the world, to connect and to share our Light in relationship with others.